


it's like a million little stars

by allyargents



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, best friends/childhood sweethearts until they're not, not technically a romcom au but something straight out of one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyargents/pseuds/allyargents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy Blake is getting married today. </p>
<p>Clarke's wearing an (admittedly, really cute) green cocktail dress, sitting in the sixth row with Raven, and it's a fucking travesty. She should be wearing white, in the center aisle, with her dad holding her hand and saying that he loves her.</p>
<p>But her dad died when she was nineteen, so she's not getting married, she's in the sixth row.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's like a million little stars

**Author's Note:**

> title from untouchable, a classic by taylor swift. 
> 
> i'm not sure why this is so dramatic cause i'm not usually dramatic, but here it is: romcom au featuring childhood best friends in love who ended up without each other.
> 
> i got the idea for this before i realized that i wasn't sure who bellamy should be married to, so i chose maya, because i really do like her (also, maya/harper would've been great? is it just me?)
> 
> so yeah. here it is. hope you enjoy!

Bellamy Blakeis getting married today. 

 

She's wearing an (admittedly, really cute) green cocktail dress, sitting in the sixth row with Raven, and it's a fucking travesty. She should be wearing white, in the center aisle, with her dad holding her hand and saying that he loves her.

 

But her dad died when she was nineteen, so she's not getting married, she's in the sixth row.

 

She's not even on the aisle, cause that's too close to where she wants to be, so she has to stand up just a little bit to see his bride. A beyond gorgeous Hispanic girl named Maya, who's a local OBGYN, rocks a mermaid dress and holds her dad's arm very very lightly. She sees her scan the audience, smiling in the general vicinity of her mom and sister, and then she finishes her scan (ever the scientist, it seems), and looks at Bellamy.

 

She can't really see Maya's face, not from where she's sitting, but she can see Bellamy's, she can see his face, with the amazing smile, and the beautiful green eyes, and those fucking freckles. and it looks exactly like his face on her seventeenth birthday. She came down the stairs in black jean shorts and a green boho-style tank top, nothing different from her usual wardrobe, but for one reason or another, his eyes lit up. They had been friends for twelve years, and she had loved him for four, and he had decided to kiss her about thirty seconds ago, and it was the best look she had ever seen. He's not giving that look to her anymore. He's not kissing her anymore, and he's not telling her that it was never anyone but her anymore (but to be fair, he can't honestly say that to Maya). He's just telling Maya that she's the "only thing in his life that really, truly matters" and "I promise to love, and cherish you in sickness and in health", or whatever. 

 

At least the wedding's over. That would fail any form of bullshit detector; from Raven, sitting right next to her, to an actual lie detector. Because the love of the first twenty years of her life, and probably every year since, if she's being honest with herself, is married to someone else. But now she doesn't have to watch him get married, so that's something. She mingles at the reception for about fifteen minutes, until the actual dancing starts. She wants to smile at the first dance, but Maya doesn't laugh when he slips up, just smiles slightly, and that gets to her (neither of them could ever dance to save their lives, and they always found it hilarious). The father daughter dance wasn't any better. She didn't seem particularly sad about being given away, no tears or embraces or anything more than expected. She kind of hates Maya for that alone. Maya's incredible, and even though it's probably her jealousy talking, this just doesn't seem like the best day of her entire life. If Maya loved him enough, she'd be happy enough to soar through the stars.

 

 

 

After the dance, there's about an hour before dinner, so she wanders around, without Raven, who ditched to go hit on Bellamy's gorgeous sister, the traitor, until she literally runs into someone - Bellamy, because as it turns out, her luck is shit.

 

"Hey, Clarke," he says, running a hand through his  hair, his usual nervous tick, cause he hasn't talked to her in six years.

 

"Hi," she replies, in a ridiculously small voice.  "So. Long time no see?", she quips, because she's only small in stature, and she needs to start somewhere.

 

"No shit, Clarke. It's been six years." He looks really, terribly, upset and she kind of hates herself for it. 

 

"Sorry, I've um - never been very good at this," Clarke mumbles, because years and years later, she still doesn't have the nerve to shout her apology off of rooftops. Or even speak it at a normal volume.

 

"Expressing your emotions? Having actual conversations as opposed to - fuck, even before, running to - Boston? Europe?" He butts in, angry as can-fucking-be, and she's almost pissed off, but yeah.

 

"All of those, yeah. But, right now apologizing. Because I'm so sorry. So very, very fucking sorry. You were my best friend, and I ran away, and god, you deserved so much better. " She's about to cry. 

 

But before she can do that, Bellamy reaches for her hand, in a moment of sincerity that used to always take the breath out of her (it still does). "Yeah, I know. It wasn't okay for a very long time, the way you left, but I think it is now." He pauses for a second, runs a hand through his hair, before continuing. "Your dad died and your mom didn't tell you about it, and I think I would've run if I were you. That's fucking horrible, and yeah, of course you couldn't have stayed. But you could've come back to me. You were my best friend, and I loved you - even with the breakup, even with everything that happened, I loved you. That was more important. I understand that you didn't want to stay, and I understand if this is your farewell tour and you just want to leave the past behind, but -". He doesn't get a chance to finish.

 

"I'm moving back." Clarke says, suddenly, and she can feel rather than see him take a step back in shock, since she closed her eyes the moment "I'm" came out of her mouth. She has to say something, because he doesn't seem to want to, so she says "I got a job at the Washington Post. Head of the Science Beat. It's not for you, you know. You're getting married. I'm a little bit of an ass, and a lot of an idiot, but I know that I can't move back for you. I've traveled the world, y'know? When I left you, I saw the world. I've been to fifteen countries and I can speak nine languages well enough to be a functioning tourist. But I wasn't exploring, not intentionally, I think that was just a side benefit. I was really running, and I don't think I can run anymore." 

 

She means that. She means it with all of her heart. Except for when she said she didn't come back for him, because she kind of did. She's loved him since she was thirteen years old, of course he was a contributing factor. Married or not.

 

He runs a hand through his hair, his traditional nervous tick, before replying. "I loved you so fucking much, Clarke. I still kind of do, if I'm being honest. And yeah, I probably always will. But I'm married, okay? I had to let you go, and once I did that, I found Maya. And I do -" He looks around and sees her, summoning him to cut the cake with her. "Hey, Clarke, I've gotta go. I'd love to meet and chat after the honeymoon, okay? It's been too fucking long." He smiles, pulls her into a quick hug, before leaving.

 

"Wait!" she says, a little bit too loudly.

 

He looks taken aback, so she has to speak really quickly. "Sorry, sorry. You just don't have my number anymore."

 

"Yeah, yeah I don't. Mine's 432-7711. You?" He writes it down on a cocktail napkin, handing it to her.

 

"471-9735". She does the same. "Congratulations, Bellamy. Have fun on your honeymoon." Clarke says, with a smile, kissing him lightly on the cheek. She doesn't really want him to have fun, but she wants him to be happy, and that's kind of part of it.

 

"See you around, Clarke." He smiles one last time, leaving to cut the cake with Maya.

 

She realizes then that she can't watch the reception. That if she had come back, she could be cutting the cake with him. She could be going on that honeymoon. But she's not, so she's leaving.

 

She walks out, running into Raven really quickly. "Hey, darling, do you have a place to spend the night? Because I can't stay. I really, really can't stay." Raven hugs her. "Do you want to be alone, Clarke? Because if you do, I'll crash at Octavia's tonight.  But if you don't, I'll head back to our apartment with you and we can drink wine and cry together." Clarke loves her, she really does.

 

"Yeah. I'm okay. No, I'm not, fuck no, but I think I want to be alone. Tomorrow? Vodka and romcoms, probably. Today? I just need to be alone." She means it. Plus, she's only had two glasses of champagne, so she's not drunk driving.

 

"I love you, k?" Raven says, hugging her quickly. Raven's the greatest best friend in the world. Except Bellamy, but she's not going there.

 

 

 

She gets to her car, intending to go home, but somehow she ends up at the park nearest to her old house. For her seventeenth birthday, she had a legitimate party at her house, with friends and some vodka, but she and Bellamy were still at the park by midnight - she, never really the partygoer, wanted to ditch, and basically everyone had left by then. So, she and Bellamy ended up at the park.

 

"Hey, Bellamy, I'll bet you fifty bucks I can climb this tree!" she said, laughing. At that point, Clarke had had very little vodka, but it was midnight on her sixteenth birthday and she wanted to kiss him. But she couldn't, so she climbed a tree. The tree that she is currently sitting under, crying silently.

 

"If you die, it is by no means my fault. Entirely your own doing," he replied, smirking at her. "But yeah, I'll take the bet." She got up about fifteen, twenty feet in the air when all of a sudden, "fuck, Bellamy, I don't think I can get down,", because the branch was shaky and she was shaky and this was very, very stupid. She was fucking terrified, and just as she thought that she'd be the poster child for a campaign called "don't drink and climb trees, kids," Bellamy spoke up.

 

"Hey, Clarke, it's okay, I've got you. I won't panhandle for my fifty bucks if you get down, okay?" he paused, looking more anguished than he had in a long time. "Just grab onto the branch, and swing down so that you're hanging from it. I'll catch you when you fall."

 

She loved him. She loved him so, so much. So, she did exactly what he said, and he caught her, and the both of them ended up on the ground. Suddenly, his face was stupidly handsome and absurdly close, and they just kissed. She knows it's a fucking cliche, her entire life is a fucking cliche, but she doesn't know who kissed who first. She knows that the kiss lasts about ten seconds, because they're both smiling too much, and that the second it broke, he spoke up. "Clarke, I'm so fucking in love with you, I've loved you since I was fifteen." He's breathless, and adorable, and oh, how she loves him.

 

She just kissed him again, gave him a hundred kisses, and then a thousand, and then she remembered that she didn't know Catullus when she was seventeen. When she was seventeen, she laughed and said; "fifteen, really? I've loved you since I was thirteen, damnit." And then she made out with him for another half an hour, before walking home, because they couldn't fuck this up. Now that she's twenty five, she laughs at a joke from college Latin class, that she knows he'd get, cause he minored in Classics. But she laughs alone.

 

She's done some pretty great things, she thinks, sitting under the tree with a bottle of champagne that she stole from the wedding. She's travelled the world, covered global headlines for the fucking Boston Globe. She's done really, truly, amazing things. And yet she's such a fucking cliche, sitting under a tree, alone, unable let go of her high school sweetheart. That's an understatement, though. He wasn't that - he was the love of her life. She knew it then, she really truly knew it. But here's the thing -  her dad died of lymphoma during her sophomore year of college, and her mom didn't tell her until he had about a week left, so she missed out on her chance with him. She should've stayed. She should've kept Bellamy, and at least had someone while she broke, but she ran. She transferred from Georgetown to Tufts, finished her journalism and biology degrees (as Bellamy once said, never let it be said that she's not an overachiever), and ran to Europe the second she got the job 

 

She should've looked back a long while before that, she thinks. But she can't. She wasn't walking down that aisle, and she's not on that honeymoon, and there's nothing she can do about it. So, she texts Raven that she's at the park, and she's gonna sleep here, like a homeless person. And she falls asleep.

 

 

 

Clarke wakes up at one pm to a killer hangover and Raven's annoyingly cheery voice. "Morning, Clarke! I've got some coffee, water and your phone. Remember that I love you while you're dealing with it." 

 

She's wondering why Raven said it, until she checks her phone. Bellamy texted her three times. 

 

The First: "lis im not really married"

The Second: "fuck that didn't make sense maya's uncle the minister wasn't registered so we arent  married."

The Third, about half an hour later: "just call me when you wake up."

 

Well, fuck.  She drinks the water, then the coffee, and trudges out of her bedroom to scrambled eggs and sausages on the stove. Never let it be said that Clarke doesn't love her. 

 

"So, how'd you get me home last night? I literally fell asleep under a tree," Clarke says, spooning some breakfast onto a paper plate. Raven laughs, before replying. "The chef I went home with was pretty damn great, but I got your text as I was falling asleep, so I drove out to get you. You even woke up a couple times - do you really not remember?".

 

She bangs her head on the counter a couple times, because damn, she was drunk. "Fucking tequila, man. Why do I ever drink tequila." 

 

Raven just smiles. "Because you're an idiot, darling. But I read your phone last night, and you're an idiot who just might, if she's lucky, have a second chance. I don't even know Maya, but I know you, and you should talk to him, okay? So give him a call, sweetheart."

 

 

 

Clarke dials the phone. He picks up on the third ring. "Hey," he almost whispers, as if raising his voice meant something he just wasn't ready for.

 

"Hi," she replies, just as quietly. Then, because she prefers the elephant in the room to be the one on her necklace, she speaks up. "Are you -"

 

"Married?", Bellamy questions. "No, no. I'm not. I um - I talked to Maya after we found out. She had sort of, well, run out of the room when she heard that - kind of a pattern with me, I guess, and apparently she had talked to her ex's best friend, who's in the best relationship she's ever seen. He asked Maya if yesterday was the best day of her life. Monty's been married for two years, to a guy named Miller, and he said that not a single day compares to her wedding. Maya couldn't say the same. I couldn't either." He sounds so, so remorseful, and fuck, it's hard to listen to. But there's a tinge of hope in his voice, so she speaks up. 

 

"I'm - I'm so sorry," she apologizes, because she really, truly, is.

 

Bellamy laughs, in that bitter sort of way. "No, you're not, not really. You're sorry that I'm hurt, sure, but I don't think you ever wanted me to marry her."

 

She thinks about that for a second, because yeah, that's about right. She doesn't say anything about it, though. "So, what now?"

 

He sighs, and replies "You would change the subject, Clarke. But Maya's going on the honeymoon with Harper, her maid of honor - we had a house on the Amalfi Coast for ten days. Maya said that she didn't know what she wanted, and so she married me, because she was supposed to want it, and she did really care for me. But she deserves to get what she really wants, which isn't me, so." He pauses, and when he speaks up, his voice is far more optimistic than it was. "I'm still in Seattle."

 

This, this is what she's been waiting for. She ran so far when she was younger, ran from ghosts and monsters and boys who loved her, and she's still not ready to face her mom, she's still not okay, but she thinks she can love him. After everything, after years and years, she still loves him, this boy with green eyes and gorgeous black hair and a smile that's never failed to make her heart skip a couple beats.

 

"Can you meet me in the park?", she asks, impulsive as all get out, because she needs to see him. That black hair, and those green eyes, and just. Him.

 

"Yeah, give me half an hour." She thinks he's smiling on the other side of the line.

 

 

 

Cut to forty minutes later, and she's sitting under that tree, in, well, a green tank top and black shorts, cause some things (her horrible fashion sense) never really change. She thinks he's not coming, that this was some sort of elaborate scheme, but then she hears him. "Is my life like, 13 going on 30 in reverse, or something? Cause seriously, this feels like your seventeenth birthday."

 

She laughs, really, truly laughs, for the first time in a few years, because damnit, she's happy. "You act like you're so cool, Mr. Romcom."

 

He's laughing with her, as he says "Octavia loves them, okay? I had to do a lot of babysitting in my day."

 

"Sure, nerd. Sure.", she replies, with an extremely wide smile. "Wanna be my Mark Ruffalo?" It's too soon. Even though it's too damn soon, she loves him, still, after everything, and she thinks they have a shot.

 

"Yes, Clarke, yes I do. But first, coffee? I think we're both pretty fucking hungover, and I think it's a pretty good fresh start.."

 

It's a damn good fresh start, she thinks, smiling. "Yeah, coffee. Let's go."

 

 

They don't kiss that day, or the day after. They kiss on Wednesday, outside of her apartment, and then, then they take it really slow. The ghosts of her dad, and Maya, and everything that happened, never really leave, but he forgives her. He forgives her, and she has nothing to forgive him for, not really, so it's okay. It's hard, and messy, but it's so much more than okay. It's them.

 

 

Bellamy Blake is getting married today. 

 

She's at the very front and center, with Raven and Octavia by her side, and she's wearing a white dress and two rings, and it's the best day of her entire fucking life.


End file.
